Without You: A Letter to My Mother

My dearest Mummy,

This is now my fifth Mother’s Day without you. I want to tell you how I spent it, but first let me tell you how I spent this year since my last Mother’s Day without you.

You’ll be happy to know it’s been my best year since you left me on May 5, 2021. (I know the correct term is “left us,” but from my perspective, you left me more than you left all of us.)

I’ve spent this year working on the childhood dream you always believed would someday become reality. I wish you were here to see it, but you’re in good company.

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’23 and Me

2023 has been one of my most challenging years to date. But guess who’s never fazed by a challenge? Guess whose power is made perfect in our weakness so we can confidently declare, “When I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Cor. 12:10)?

While writing this blog post I finally realized why I have faced so much opposition this year, from seemingly random injuries to longstanding health issues flaring up, from financial difficulties to doors that refused to open…

I couldn’t figure out why these attacks kept coming no matter how much I prayed and stood on God’s Word by faith. But when I began writing this blog post it struck me that my trials of 2023 were directly related to the fact that I’d just written a book on Job!

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The Year of the Forgotten Dream

As long as the Lord lends me life, I will remember 2022 as the year of the forgotten dream. This dream was to write poetry, though I little dreamt I’d write a whole book of it!

As a lifelong lover of English literature, I’d have been content to compose a few good poems. One Christian “Kubla Khan” and some sonnets like “Chapman’s Homer” and “On His Blindness” and “Death, Be Not Proud” and “Sonnet 33” would have sufficed.

My standards were high, but my dreams weren’t big enough. Certainly not as big as God’s dreams for me.

God’s dreams for us are always bigger than our own.

This is not wishful thinking or heresy. It’s biblical. The apostle Paul tells us that God “is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think” (Eph. 3:20). And Jesus Himself said, “Do not fear, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom” (Luke 12:32).

What could be bigger than the kingdom of heaven? What could outvalue the “pearl of great price,” that inestimable treasure to obtain which the merchant sold everything he had?

Nothing. Not even a whole book of poetry.

In Kindle and hardback

Even so, a whole book of anything was the impossible dream a year ago.

When 2022 dawned, I had not published a book since The Blessing of Melchizedek Devotional was released in November 2016. For half a decade, I’d only produced a handful of blog posts, a couple screenplays, a few worship songs, and the odd limerick. I enjoyed writing it all, but my career as an author seemed to be over.

Whether the world had written me off or whether it was awaiting my next bestseller with bated breath, I cannot say. All I know is that I myself had no energy or inspiration for a new book—and I’m the kind of writer who needs both to get started. Once I begin, I rely more on grit and grace.

As I mention in the introduction to There Once Was a Man Who Suffered, I was very ill when I got the idea for the book. My grief over my mother’s death eight months previously had found its way to my physical person. For a whole week in January I lay in bed drifting in and out of sleep, at times wondering if the illness was going to be my last.

In this feeble, febrile state, God gave me the biggest surprise of my life! This surprise—the idea to tell Job’s story in limericks—is all the more special because it showed up on my younger nephew’s birthday.

Three days before, my friend Theresa stopped by after church to check up on me. Revived by her concern and the appetizing soup she’d cooked, I began telling her the story behind my first screenplay. She listened with interest and without interrupting (God bless her), then suggested I consider writing a new book.

I winced internally. Although I told Theresa I’d pray about it once I recovered (a promise I meant to keep), I winced because I realized that my dearest reader would not be reading my new book.

The Lord has since shown me that I wrote the book precisely because Mummy would not be reading it. The book emerged out of my grief for her.

The story behind my new book reminds me to trust the Lord with other dreams I have forgotten or given up for dead. Which reminds me of Abraham, who believed that God “gives life to the dead and calls those things which do not exist as though they did” (Rom. 4:17).

He did not waver at the promise of God through unbelief, but was strengthened in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully convinced that what He had promised He was also able to perform. And therefore ‘it was accounted to him for righteousness’” (Rom. 4:20-22).

(c) 2022 Sharon Arpana Edwards. All Rights Reserved.

Beholding and Holding God’s Promises

When the proof copy of my new book arrived last week, one of the first people I texted was Rabi Maharaj, author of one of my all-time favorite books, Death of a Guru. His response to the cover image I’d sent was heartwarming.

Apart from warming my heart, Rabi’s text reminded me of the process of obtaining God’s promises. And it is a process. The Bible makes it clear that God’s promises Continue reading

A Eulogy for My Mother

Author’s Note: If you find this post helpful, please consider purchasing a copy of There Once Was a Man Who Suffered, the book I wrote after my mother passed, or any of my other books. Thank you. The rest of this post was published on June 12, 2021.

This is the eulogy I gave at my mother’s memorial service a few hours ago. I have made some minor edits and added links to the Scripture passages quoted and the video commemorating my mother’s life.

On behalf of my family, I want to thank each of you for joining us today. We are grateful for your presence and for the many comforting messages we have received since our beloved mother went home to be with the Lord on May 5. Thank you.

Writing the eulogy for Lalita Edwards is at once easy and difficult. Easy because of her exemplary character and well-lived life, and difficult because she was my mother and this is yet another reminder that I will not see her again this side of eternity. There’s a reason the Bible describes death as the last enemy.

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The Lost Comb

One day about twenty years ago, my flight attendant friend in Hong Kong called to say she would be in LA in a few weeks. We usually met when she came to LA on a flight. The airline put her up at the Torrance Marriott, and I lived in nearby Redondo Beach. If her layover fell on a weekend, we would hang out at the Del Amo Mall, shopping until our feet begged for mercy.

My friend always asked if I wanted anything from Hong Kong, but this time she had a request. She had seen a special kind of hair gadget online but it was available for shipping in the US only, so she asked if I could order it for her. It was a BOGO (buy one get one) deal. She would pay for both, and I could have the second piece. I’d have helped my friend even without her generous offer, but then I wouldn’t be telling you the story twenty years later.

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When Christians Walk Away – Part 3

Now here’s the most critical part of the discussion: When Christians walk away, they are walking away from Jesus Christ, not just from Christianity or a local church. After all, when they became a Christian, they had entered a relationship with a Person, not with a religion or a church.

I’m talking about becoming a Christian in the biblical sense. There is such a thing as cultural Christianity, Continue reading